How Do I Think Thee?

Sonnet-like Poem of a Practical 21st Century Misogynist
Lothario, Fascist Poet
………—after Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s How Do I Love Thee

How do I think thee? Let me count the ways.
I think thee to the depth and breadth and height
My measuring tape can reach, seeing it right
To the end of being that instruments can chase.
I think thee to the level of my every-day most
Greedy need, by surveillance under sun or LED.
I think thee as freely as men injure and fight.
I think thee as surely as I grasp at praise.
I think thee with the passions of my abuse—
Of my old beliefs, and with self-absorbed faith.
I think thee with thoughts I seem to lose
When talk comes of saints. I think thee with stale breath,
Guiles, fears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but think thee better after death.
Pray tell, think it best if I live on and you lose.


Jim Culleny, 3/21/21